UntitledMy egoism and I aren't working togetherIt tells me to shout, and it tells me to screamI tell my brain to "Shut yourself up,for this you shall pay, 'cause it's not a dream."For who am I to tell who they should be with?Who am I to take the demand?Who is then going to take the blameFor something so filthy done by my hand?
Not Anymore"I don't know...I just don't know.Not anymore.It's not like before.It was just false happines I made for myselfBut not anymore.Before that I was in an eternal rollercoasterBut not anymore.I fell asleep in a flowerfield full of roses and redberriesBut not anymore.These days, I wake up in a bed of needles, telling nobody to stay awayBut not anymore.I was open for the world, yet I wanted only him.But not anymore.The world still don't see that when I exposed my privacy, love, fear and hateThat I was not happy.I was unwilling to close myself, because I wanted somethingI created a monster for my own lust, so that I could just getAway from everybody.But not anymore.ThoughI still, these daysAm way too much open about myselfBut you just can't see it.Can you?"
Leaving Hope - Another VersionI am leaving soonYes I amCertainlyTo a better placeWhere there exists no disgraceOnly spaceFilled with waterWherever I floatI can embrace anythingAnyoneYet it feels like I'm slowly dyingInto the void I'm divingDelusion I'm cryingI'm not sure about where I amBut I knowBy nowThis you would not allowMe turning into dirtFilthy body that meltsPours aroundSpinsSwirlsCrawlsCriesDies more and more the deeper i realizeThere's nothing leftFor me hereI owe you all, yet I give nothingBecause I am too weak to moveI don't want to stand upp tallI'd rather crawlThus I long even more for the day to comeThe one day whenYou and IAre washed toghether in the same waterIn an ocean way too deepEverything that's under is ours to keepLife and deathIs one. Only oneAnd we are the source of life, just like the sunBut where I am now, there is no lifeOnly can I drown deeper into itI can see a crowded placeI like nobody there, I feel disgraceOnly with you I can feel hopeB